Dating an emasculated man
” She will say, “Honey, I’ve had a horrible day at work.” All of a sudden, we force ourselves to transform into problem solvers and jump into action, only to find out she just wants us to listen.
Men no longer have clearly defined roles in marriage. I am not preaching that we go back to the stone age.
In the rush of getting married, many of us forget to reflect on our internalized messages about marriage.
These messages are unseen ‘ghosts’ who say, “I do” along with you. They include family, cultural, and personal experiences that subconsciously tell us what marriage “is” or “isn’t” and what it “can” or “can’t be.” As a therapist, I know these ghosts can cause significant rifts between couples.
Our testosterone laden brains function differently than estrogen created brains, and we actually crave clarity of roles to help us flourish. I am suggesting that happier marriages begin with a discussion about what your women’s expectations are from us, and setting up clear, but flexible roles within your little slice of heaven.
Make sure to revisit the agreement regularly since our thoughts about marriage change as we grow and age.
We are talking about the New Millennial Man, but with the ages of old hunter instincts shamefully hidden away.
Society and requirements impose many expectations on us.
The moment we are married, our ghosts decide to visit and say things like, “Well, you’re married now, you need to bring home the bacon.” The answer we hear is, “She can take care of herself.” “I want to relax!
You know by now that that only leads to trouble in the bedroom.
However, out of our natural nurturing tendencies, or our overly active honesty, sometimes we can emasculate our men without even knowing it.
There are a broad range of reasons that justify fighting after a wedding.